Hi..

It's been long time im not writing anything here. I actually not very busy..there was some problem...well of course..that's life, There was moments like i got slapped on my face, i trusted sooo many things before and then when I got the real problem it seems like all my believes was dissapear like dusts.

I dont mean to share my problem here but I mean to share about some lessons. 

I was always having a lots of friends, men and women. They always good to me and I also good to them. Untill there was some problems happened.. I could see some people was really nice to me and then that problem continuosly. Some of my friends gave me a lot of advices.. it was already very hard on me and it became more harder with their advices. They identified my problems just like their problem and how they should face it with their own character. I am not them and I have my own character, my own way to face everything. I cant be like them and they can not be me. I have my own patience to face everything, while all I could see that people guessed i am too silly to make everything happened. And finally I was tired and feel it is done, I gave up with everything and went away from people. 

Right now I have my own life, I dont care with what people think about me. Actually its not easy..having adaptation without friends -while you used to life with a lot friends before- was hard, I can feel it is very hard untill now. Even I have my man, he also my best friend, only a best friend I have right now. It is hard for both of us because we are man and woman that having different brain's composition, different hormones and of course different character. But we strugling with everything around us. 

One of reason why I finally stop talking with friends because I dont want they judge my man.. our story is different than people. it gives chance for people to think, guess and analyze what kind of relationship we have right now. I dont fault them but I also dont have a lot energy to explain and always communicate with them about what happened to us. Although it is really hard for me to keep it everything with my self, I trying to survive. Moreover my man is very quiet person and having opposite character with me, but we trying to understand each other. It gives us priceles lessons day by day. I learn a lot from him because he used to not have a lot friends and never share about his private life with friends. It was weird for me at the first time, but he completes me. He listening me more than a friend can be. Its always different when we sharing with woman and with man. Woman will always gives feedback from what we shared, sometimes the feedback can be an advices, opinion and sometimes could be a smooth judge. While with man, they just listening and thats all (when I need more than that he used to say "Don't worry I'm with you"), For me, it is more than I need when we cant runaway from dailly problem. I still have normal life. Sometimes im bad mood, other day I can be too excited but I controll it by keeping it only for my self.

I learning as extrovert person, mostly I have extreem switching moods. I could be very very sad and then one hour later I could forget it and very happy. I also very easy to memorize every single things that happened everyday. But now I trying to not to show to people like I used to be. My man as introvert person trying to balance me. So I try to be carefull when meet new people or when I talking with people around me. It is not easy.. I repeat.. It is NOT easy. But I had some experiences from my past that this extrovert character was gave me bad impacts.. So I need to change my self, of course it is impossible to change your own character.. all we can do just handle it so it wont harm your self.

I think I already shared too much..

I hope next post will not talking about my self

Cheers ^^

My man, i make it blur. I dont like when people seeing him even just a picture. Extrovert person usually a very jealously person.

AND THE HARD BUTTON IS ON

Have you ever had problem in your life? the hardest one that make you unafraid to anything happends after all. the hardest one that activate a button in your heart, whenever you smell something or you see something, it will just make your heart beat faster and your emotion explode. Have you ever?

Potatoehoney

When i writing this, my fone is very bussy with a lot beeps, i was download "skout", a random chat application. For what? just seeing am I still have excitement for this silly things. Well it is very lazy to reply some chatts that asking about my name, age, address etc etc. Of course I do not reply in serious way (sometimes I said I am 17 yo :D).

As the topic about hard button, I had a friend, actually he was my client when i had a job around 7 years ago. He told me about theory of hard button : Everyone will have problems in their life, one the biggest problem will give them hard button, and very precious lesson that will be remembered whole of our life. Thats problem will make someone to not afraid to anything happends in the future. The problem that will changed someone's life and changes someone's view about a life. Sound hard? I have an example, around 2 years ago I watched a movie name "LIFE of PI", it is story about a young man who living in wealth and suddenly lost in the sea with a wild tiger, and he has to survive, and of course it is not easy to survive  with wild tiger and no one help him. This experience of journey that give him biggest problem in his life that finally brings Piscine (Pi) to be different character in the future. And this is what I am talking bout, a problem that finally changed someone's life, and character. The problem will also give them lesson how to face world after all. and sometime it will give you a very weird emotion when you see somethings related that. 

You need to face "tiger' to be stronger

Why my friend called this as HARD BUTTON? well he said that this button will activate another buttons in your heart to fight more and to face problems with more mature. At least you will always say, it is nothing compare with what i have been through.

Talking about the hard button, well I have to say that I got that. It was soo unexpected, in 2008 untill 2009 was a whole year full of problems, I even guessed that i will never get out from that year. And yes that was totally changed me, not only the way I see anything but also it left a big hole in me that give me some trauma, but I will not talk about that hole. That problem gives me a lot lesson and experience to handle everything. Not only about my view but also the way I talk etc.

So did you got your 'hard button' ?

I am reading.. so I runaway from my own life

My books are my only treasure ..

Been long time I did not post anything in this blog. I feel stuck, busy with my very own mind. Right now I want to write out of foods things.

I just made an account in Goodreads, you know it right? I just finished a book and i want to have histories of what books I read. 

I really like to read, since I was kid. My parents are kind of parents who dont have really like or want to read, except newspaper. I spent my childhood by collecting money from grandmas and buying the BOBO or DONALD DUCK magazine. For my parents that kind of magazine only allowed to read in holiday season. Out of holiday I would only read it when my parents didnt see me. In my school I often spent time in the small library in my school. I read all the books there, most books were fantasy and kid fiction. I remember some books that stuck in my brain untill now. I used to brought book to home and lied to my mom that it was homework from my teacher. 

When I got job and have my own money, i bought the books as often as I could. I feel I cant to not read anything. even the most books that I have are fictions, but I was also like to read motivation books, history, spiritual, biography etc. I almost resigned from this hobby when I have internet in my phone. Yeah it giving addiction, for around 3 years I forgot how peacefull to read a book. But these few months I started to read again. 

Photo taken from my instagram @Potatoehoney

My favorite genre of book are crime and psychological. It gives me beats when I'm reading it, especially crime story I used to keep guessing nd investigating even in the end story it usually giving me the wrong answer. Crime story is unpredictable, it sometimes give you a running sensation. You have to run to find the answer before the murder kill another victim... something like that.

I think in the next post I will try to write my review for some of my fave books. I wish I will have time and mood to write more.


Love
xoxo